01 October 2026
What's in the menopause melting pot?
This Menopause Awareness month our resident counsellor, Liz, shares her 'hot take' on the topic.
For many of us women, menopause can be a massive juncture where huge life transitions all converge.
As well as managing the physical changes to our bodies mostly caused by falling oestrogen, we have to get our heads round many other changes. Some of these are liberating, but others can be difficult.
No wonder we are boiling hot!
At this time in our lives, many of us are sandwiched between the changing needs of the young people in our lives growing up and becoming more independent at the same time as the older people in our lives becoming more dependant, frail and dying. Add in work, or lack of work, stress, our own health issues, sometimes grandparenting issues, and the impact of all this on our romantic or unromantic relationships, and it can get even hotter in the pot!
It’s just typical that this is all happening at a time when we are least able to cope with it because we have less oestrogen to buffer our cortisol, making us more prone to anxiety!
It’s a melting pot because with its heating, everything gets shaken up and changed. Change causes anxiety because it changes all our relationships.
Sometimes it’s our relationship with ourselves that we need to work on. We need to be kind to ourselves. What would you say to a friend if they told you they had, hot flushes, weight gain, insomnia and rock bottom mojo?
Because we change, our relationships with those close to us sometimes need to change too. This can often involve some tricky negotiations about things we are not used to talking about. Sometimes we need some help to do this.
Although we expect our young people to grow up and it can be wonderful, sometimes it doesn’t look or feel like we thought or hoped it would, and there’s not always much we can do about it, because they are independent adults. Sometimes we surprise ourselves with the feelings that this brings up for us. Perhaps we feel that they do not need us at all, when really it’s more like we are just needed in a different way.
At the other end of the age spectrum, our relationships with our older friends and family are also changing. As we care for those who looked after us in our younger years, while feeling the angst of menopause, we are often transported to thoughts of what our own old age and demise might look like. This often scary kick into existential anxiety can act as a positive reminder that we have limited time left. This is something we need to come to terms with. It can help us to focus on what really matters to us and how we want to live this next stage of our lives.
Menopause is a bit of a door into a different stage of life and that can mean we need to do a bit of a reassessment of how we want to live. What stays in our lives, and what needs to go? It can be a chance for some psychological decluttering and although this can be very tough, some of this can also feel really good!
Counselling can help you to come some way to making peace with the sadnesses and losses that you have sustained in your life so far. It can also help you to know yourself better and negotiate with yourself and others to get the best deal possible for this stage of life.
Please note if you are struggling with the impact of menopause, it is recommended that you speak to your doctor or menopause specialist.
More information is available at:
NHS Inform www.nhsinform.scot
The British Menopause Society thebms.org.uk
Womens's Health Concern womens-health-concern.org
Image credit: Kateryna Hliznitsova, Unsplash.com
